Well, I’m not prone to jealousy, and I cannot give an expert advise, but I’ll try to summarize some of the thoughts I read or hear on it anyway.
Jealousy can be a side-effect of a mindset that is rooted in scarcity. Jealousy is the emotion resulting from the notion that a person’s success or happiness somehow diminishes your own. If you check out the planet from the lens of abundance instead of scarcity, it’s really hard to become jealous.
Jealousy and others’ success…
Actually, another person’s success and happiness is often a really very good issue. You can even say that is my purpose in running this site. When the individuals around me are pleased and fulfilled, they’ll naturally spread those feelings to others. This can be a situation to become desired, not avoided.
I’d rather be surrounded by men and women who are doing far better than me in some style than by men and women who’re unhappy. Seeing men and women exceed my capabilities does not make me jealous. It inspires me.
I have close friends that are extremely talented, and it is challenging for me to imagine ever getting at their level. But I can say with total honesty that I in no way feel jealous of their successes and accomplishments, even when they entirely place me to shame with their skill. And the cause is that I see reality in such a way that other people’s happiness is simply a further expression of my personal happiness.
Jealousy is usually a very ego-based notion. If you wish to really feel jealous, you have to 1st adopt a scarcity mindset that suggests we’re in competitors with each other. If an individual gets that great job, that superb girlfriend, or that new residence, it suggests you can’t have it. They won. You lost.
There’s an element of scarcity in jealousy and also an element of attachment. If you would like to become jealous, just turn out to be emotionally attached to some thing impermanent then lose it to somebody else.
What you could not yet realize is the fact that the mindset of jealousy is in actual fact inventive. If you cling to a belief in scarcity, you will attract a lot of scarcity-based scenarios that may reflect that mindset back to you: the promotion that you just missed mainly because a person else got it, the girlfriend you lost to your best buddy, the parent that expresses extra affection for the siblings as an alternative of you. Due to the inventive nature of jealousy, I’ve no doubt whatsoever that if you are prone to jealousy, you will locate lots of causes to really feel jealous. I’m not saying those factors aren’t valid or that you simply need to just pretend you didn’t get the brief finish in the stick. I’m confident you got shafted major time. But are you aware of why this keeps happening to you? Until you can reach that awareness, you will continue repeating the pattern of manifesting new factors to become jealous.
My present view of reality tends to make it almost impossible for jealousy to arise simply because I do not subscribe to the belief that we’re all separate beings in competition with each other. Instead I see us as projections of an all-encompassing consciousness. This could sound slightly strange, but I generally prefer not to feel of myself as an person human becoming. I look at my ego to be nothing but a perspective – a lens by means of which consciousness can view and interact with its contents. But by itself it has no real substance.
When Dreaming
This is related for the mindset you might have when dreaming. If you became lucid (i.e. consciously aware that you are dreaming although nonetheless inside the dream globe), you would realize that the dream character you are playing is not the actual you. That character is just a figment and does not seriously exist at all. In reality you’re the dreamer, plus the entire dream is contained within your consciousness. The dream character you temporarily believed was you is just as a lot you as anything and every person else within the dream.
Now in the event you hold this level of awareness that you are the dreamer and not the character within the dream, would you become jealous with the other dream characters? Not most likely. You may in truth take into account their achievement and ability to be an enhancement of the dream planet, which you’d in all probability perceive as a great issue. Wouldn’t it be a lot more enjoyable to have a dream that you are running about in the X-Men world, surrounded by characters that exceed your abilities vs. getting surrounded by incompetent characters that are much less skillful than you? Why not hold this very same attitude in your physical life as well? Isn’t it good to reside inside a planet exactly where others are even greater off than you happen to be?
Maintain in mind that the dream will ultimately finish. The whole thing is rooted in illusion. It is not worth acquiring all worked up more than that which you realize to be impermanent. You will find no long-term security there. Instead concentrate on enjoying the unfolding story and immersing your self in exciting experiences. This can be far more fun than becoming overly attached to possessions or positions you could possibly temporarily hold.
Every moment of this life is just so darned fascinating and fantastic. We’re all sharing in the ongoing exploration of consciousness. What one individual (or character) experiences only enhances the complete.
When I see somebody else’s good results, I celebrate it as my own. If I see an individual do one thing that this seemingly restricted individual named Steve can’t appear to complete, that’s of no consequence simply because I celebrate that the bigger consciousness can do it, and that is the real me anyway.
I’ve never climbed Mt. Everest, but given that other individuals have done it, I feel as if the larger I (the consciousness in which reality unfolds – the correct dreamer) has performed it, so I enable myself to knowledge that as if it had been a personal accomplishment. That possibly sounds strange if you are really attached to an objective view of the globe, but I come across it an empowering perspective.
Interestingly I discover that with this mindset, my reality does not seem to give rise to scenarios that could make me jealous. It’s not that I’m so terrific at managing my emotions – I just cannot come across something to be jealous about. Perhaps it’s due to the fact I feel that whatever I want, I can basically have if I commit myself to getting it. But I think the larger element is that I do not sustain such a death-grip on what I have that I will be terribly upset to shed it, due to the fact I know I’m destined to shed all of it anyway. I obtain that I take pleasure in my possessions and experiences even more by accepting that all of this can be temporary.
Even though it could appear like my possessions might be taken away and my positions degraded, those items aren’t actual and substantive anyway, so they hold no inherent value. The true worth lies within the experience.
I bear in mind Carolyn Myss saying for the duration of a lecture that we’re typically prepared to help folks catch up to us, but we won’t support them pass us. Is this correct for you personally?
Conclusion
In The Joy of Sadness, I explained how even negative emotions could be transformed into positive ones when you can move beyond the ego’s perspective and see reality from the perspective of a greater consciousness. From this perspective, jealousy will be like getting your left hand accuse your proper hand of stealing its ring. That will be silly. What sense does it make for the hands to fight with each other? A jealous reaction does make some sense from the perspective of an person hand, but it tends to make no sense from the perspective in the bigger body.
Consequently, if you are jealous, it is due to the fact you’re thinking of yourself as a hand, forgetting that you’re definitely the whole physique. Every thing you see and knowledge IS you. So in this sense, if everyone has something, then you have got it too.
